Thread regarding Schlumberger Ltd. layoffs

What is DELFI?

I have looked at the movies, the trainings and the marketing websites and I still cannot completely figure out what is DELFI.

As far as I can tell, it is a web-based portal for accessing slb legacy applications on the cloud, plus one single native cloud-based application (drillplan).

It seems that the plan is to use this new platform for replacing the current license-based model by a subscription-based model. This is a solution to clients cheating with the number of supported/maintained licenses.

But then, why isn't that clearer? The whole "cognitive environment" story is full of hot air and by now all clients already realized that DELFI is just a bunch of powerpoint slides. How comes that an unfinished (to say the least) product got such media and marketing coverage?

And why DELFI? Is that because it is an anagram of FIDEL? Some Cuba nostalgia maybe? Or a reference to latin "fidelis" to remind customers how captive they will be? Or is it about the Oracle of Delphi and its ability to produce cryptic predictions while under the influence of hallucinogenic substances?

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DELFI is the latest of all barcode scanning systems. It can scan your brain as well as long as your IQ is lower than 85 which is 100% of all slb population.

But don't be afraid. It still pays bonuses for doing nothing and rewards kissing bungholes with A's while celebrating the climbing on the achievements of subordinates while knowing absolute zulsh.

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Marketing-wise the strategy behind the release of DELFI in 2017 is a copy of the one underlying the announcement of the EPIC platform in 2013. It's all about marketing manager(s) promoting their personal agenda and ignoring both product readiness and market logic. Expect a severe hangover.

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Because the consulting companies already sold every body else this crap so they've come to expect Schlumberger to use the same contrived vocabulary.

Just like how smoothie stands and flower shops are suddenly blockchain-enabled businesses.

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Why don't you get back to you f-ing work

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Delfi is an acronym for people who are intellectually challenged who try to cloud their dialogue with crap to make it seem their subject is complex.

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Why don't you piss off ? Dipshit

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Why don't you stop wasting your time and go get an education.

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Most of actual smart people with idea of making these promises are laid off already, so good luck selling this in NAM.

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